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He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, 2 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn,3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.
I found myself thinking early this morning "Lord couldn't you just replace this broken heart of mine with a new one? Why go through all the effort of repairing this one? God often leads me to pick up a book or read some e-mail article. They seem to surface almost in response to my questions. I trust that He wants to speak to me. I know that he will speak through me through things like books, or articles or words out of peoples mouths. He leads me in his word, he speaks sometimes through dreams and visions. He speaks to me through His still small voice. I have to trust that if I am asking a sincere question that He wants to help me discover the answer. So today I picked up a book called Windows of Hope. Its sits on my book shelf but I have not looked at it in at least eight months. Its written by Richard Lee and turned to a chapter called Restoration. "Restoration takes time. There has to be a stripping away of the old, the torn, the ruined before the new ca be applied. It can't be rushed. And it takes a gentle and careful touch. Every item has its process, and every part of the process has its place. What works for a piece of furniture would be devastating to a silk shawl. Sometimes you have to use strong chemicals, sometimes tiny tools. It take intimate knowledge of each item and a knowing and a patient hand to do it right." ~ Richard Lee
I have to think that if it takes skill and time and special processes and tools to restore furniture or silk shawls what must it take to restore a broken heart. The Lord and I have been actively dealing with the process of restoring mine for easily three years perhaps longer. So today I was led to pick up another book, this one is a handbook that was given to me when I worked on the prayer team at the Spokane Healing Rooms. Its called How To Minister to Specific Diseases. I turned to a section on Soul Ties and read through the list of things under the section called How to Break Ungodly Soul Ties.
(In case you are in the dark about soul ties they are bonds that are created thorough relationships. There can be both Godly soul ties as in marriage or with children or healthy friendships. There can also be one's that bonds have been created through sexual partners out side of marriage, friendships that are unhealthy in some way and even with organizations.)
So heres the list in the book from the Healing Rooms.
A - Repent √ (I've done that)
B - Break tie and renounce it then break any sexual soul ties or bonds √ (done that too)
C - Break generational sex sins and resulting curses if applicable √
D - Rebuke and bind any demonic spirits (tormenting spirits, guilt, shame, divination, witchcraft) √
E - Renounce and cancel the assignment of all evil spirits sent to attempt to maintain the ungodly soul tie ( jealousy, control, confusion, co-dependency) √ ( I may need to go back to double check this one)
F - Break any vows made √
Here we get to somethings that I had missed previously
G - Call back every part that was given away (every emotion, will and thought that was part of the bond thorough the blood of Jesus so it comes back sanctified)
H - Release the person by sending back all that was taken from them. (Every emotion, will , thought through the blood of Jesus so it goes back sanctified.
I - Pray healing over mind, will and emotions and ask for memories to be cleansed and healed. √
J - Thank the Lord for wholeness, holiness and grace. √
I have over time and on a number of specific occasions made a point to break any old lingering soul ties. So in looking at the list I can say I've done most of the list. G and H jumped out to me today. I had not seen them before. So I sat and asked the Lord to help me to call back those parts of my heart that I had given away or had been lost or broken in the breaking of once bonded hearts. The big thing that came to mind was TRUST. I had trusted once upon a time but that trust got broken and damaged. That part of me is badly broken it was one of the things the Lord said I needed to call back. There were some other things too. If the Lord is taking you through a similar process he will lead you to know what to call back and what to return.
This all re-surfaced for me because my friend Karen called a few nights ago and I was sharing how I have felt very un-steady like a boat that is no longer securely moored in place. She is quite a prayer warrior and has wonderful insights from the Lord. She prayed and said Margot there are some tie downs that you need to intentionally release. So I have been praying about which ones those might be. In our conversation she also shared about a movie premere that she had attended from a Christian film company. The tour is called Father of Lights and she told me you need to go if there is one near you. So I looked on the computer to see if there was one near me. There was on Saturday night. I told her that I already had a commitment that night that God would have to release me from if he wanted me to go. Saturday afternoon I got a text that canceled my previous commitment and I was free to go. The movie was excellent and I got a pre-release copy of the dvd to share with local family and friends. There was a prayer time at the end and I felt led to go receive prayer. The young girl who prayed for me asked what I wanted her to pray for and I told her to just pray as the Holy Spirit leads you. I gotta say she read my mail to God. She started off with praying for my broken heart. She used specific words that have been part of my prayers to God. She prayed that God would show me his great love. In a sense I felt like she named all the things that have been concerns for me with out knowing anything about me. I did not feel that in that moment God did a instant healing but I left confident that He had heard my prayers and fully knew each and everyone of my concerns. Anyway that brought the broken heart back to the center of my attention. Actually last time I went to the Healing Rooms they prayed that God would heal my broken heart and there would be no leaks and no scars. Its been a pretty shattered mess that I have pretty much just kept locked up and learned to live without out it. Even as God has been restoring it. I struggle to feel love or to hold it for very long. I have to stay very connected to the Lord to stay filled up. My heart just has too many leaky places but little by little I can feel the work of his restoration and little by little my heart is becoming healed and whole. It will be interesting to see what he does with the pieces that He led me to call back today.
I can't say why God takes things in the order that he chooses. Your journey is individual to you and if you are wanting to change and to be healed he will take that journey with you. He will lead you to see things that you could not even see before. Today He helped me to see that I needed to call back parts that were missing so He could do more of the work of restoration. I needed to give back some of the parts that I had that were not mine to keep. I don't know how long my restoration process will take. I am thankful that He is the most skilled at restoration and He is fully capable of bringing my heart to the place of no leaks and no scars. So I will stand and believe that He is able and that He is working even as he touches things that are painful in the repair process.
Thank you Lord that you are the healer and restorer of our broken and damaged hearts. Forgive us for the careless way we have treated our hearts. Forgive us for the times we have inflicted even more damage to our hearts in an effort to numb the pain. Thank you Lord that in your time you will restore and heal our hearts to be able to contain your amazing love and pour it out as we love others in your name.