Tuesday, October 23, 2012

From Nobodies to Somebodies

A Devotional by Margot Cioccio
A project I'm working on
Romans 9: 20-33 Who in the world do you think you are to second-guess God? Do you for one moment suppose any of us knows enough to call God into question? Clay doesn’t talk back to the fingers that mold it, saying, “Why did you shape me like this?” Isn’t it obvious that a potter has a perfect right to shape one lump of clay into a vase for holding flowers and another into a pot for cooking beans? If God needs one style of pottery especially designed to show his angry displeasure and another style carefully crafted to show his glorious goodness, isn’t that all right? Either or both happens to Jews, but it also happens to the other people. Hosea put it well:
I’ll call nobodies and make them somebodies;
    I’ll call the unloved and make them beloved.
In the place where they yelled out, “You’re nobody!”
    they’re calling you “God’s living children.”
Isaiah maintained this same emphasis:
If each grain of sand on the seashore were numbered
    and the sum labeled “chosen of God,”
They’d be numbers still, not names;
    salvation comes by personal selection.
God doesn’t count us; he calls us by name.
    Arithmetic is not his focus.

I seem to be stuck still, on what I should be when I grow up. I'm not sure why it seems to be a big deal to me at this point. I talk to my husband and he seems to think I'm already being what I need to be a wife and a mother. Part of me seems to always question if that is enough. Perhaps that is performance orientation kicking in or a feeling that my worth is some how tied to what I do. I'm sure I'm not alone in these feelings. 
I suspect that my husband is closer to the Lords perspective than I want to give him credit for. Arithmetic, productivity or dollars in the bank is not his focus. His love for me is not based on what I do or even what I might become it is because I am his. Not sure why that is so hard for me to wrap my head around. 

Before I was saved and gave my life to the Lord, I struggled to wrap my mind around the idea that one could be saved by grace. It was not something that we could earn it simply needed to be accepted. It was just too easy. No hoops to jump through. For God to love us un conditionally not based upon our performance is often hard for me to swallow. That God does not love me any less on mornings that I feel like I am slogging my way through quick sand than he does when I wake up with a song in my heart and springs in my feet.  This morning has been more of the former. I think because it is cold I did not get up when I first wolk up but laid there and lulled myself back to sleep only to later wake up groggy and hardly able to function. 

Does God love me less when I don't spring out of bed to spend time with him. I know he loves it when I do and it certainly helps my day to go better because I've set my mind on him rather than all the cares of this world. I believe he understands that we've entered into a new season both on the yearly calendar and in my spiritual walk. It will take me a little bit to get used to the changes and to make adjustments to make things work better. It seems to be often easer to extend grace and patience to everyone else than it is for me to extend that same grace to myself. 

I love this part of the verse "I’ll call nobodies and make them somebodies; I’ll call the unloved and make them beloved.
In the place where they yelled out, “You’re nobody!”
    they’re calling you “God’s living children.”

There is a part of me that wants to be special, which is funny in a way because I already am special in the Lords eyes. So I think we must constantly fight the voices in our heads that say we are ordinary, sometimes it is the voices of people that we care about and want to impress or please. Sometimes it is simply our own self loathing that looks in the mirror and say all manner of demeaning things. Sometimes it is the oppression of the enemy. I have to decide what voice to believe - will I believe those voices that call me nobody! or will I believe the voice of the one who created me and knows me intimately who calls me somebody, and a child of the living God.

Most of the time things are much easier than I want to make them. I guess I just need to get to the place of accepting that God is ok with the things that I am at this point in my life. I am a mom, I am a wife, I write this blog, I paint, I make mosaics, I work at the church, I care about people. I make mistakes and fall short but most of all I am His and that alone is more than enough. 

Lord help each of us to over come our feelings of inadequacy. Help us to silences the voices that belittle and demean us. Help us to look in that mirror and boldly say "I am His" and to let that be enough to silence the negativity. 

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