Layers - More on the Secret Place

A Devotional by Margot Cioccio

I am working on consolidating my many blogs down to the couple that I am actually using. This post was written July 10, 2011 about the same time that I started writing this devotional blog.  I can't begin to tell you how many layers of stuff I have dealt with in the past two years.  This post is a year later than yesterdays post and the post before that was written a year after that. Before that everything is in old journals some of which I've burned or thrown away not wanting anyone to ever read what a mess I've been at various times.  I wonder what I will write a year from now about this whole journey. The good news is that I am getting more and more free. Things I could not talk about before are no longer frightening things.

Layers - More on the Secret Place

I wrote the post called the Secret Place a long while ago - only to find that there were other secret places that I could not even get to at that time. God is gracious and so patient. Stuff so deep and hidden that it has been a journey to uncover them. Little did I realize that I had only begun the journey when  I wrote the Secret Place.

I have found that in removing the layers and in getting really down to those deeply hidden places that God continues to be gracious. There was no condemnation for the things I found hidden away. I found there were things that have had to be grieved. That was hard. There were things that needed to be confessed and some things that I needed to work through repentance and forgiveness.

I was surprised to find the intensity of the emotions and feelings for things so long locked away.
It really took me by surprise still feel things so many years later to be processing things I chose to stuff away rather than deal with at the time. I found there to also be some hopes and dreams that might yet be possible someday and I have taken them out of the trunk and allowed them to breathe - they are now acknowledged between me and God and I am content wait patiently to see what He may do. I fully understand that at some point they may also need to be grieved. I'm ok with that. There is no question in my mind as to Gods ability but it may or may not be part of His plan. I trust Him completely.

I have found that I am getting much more free. That in dealing with these thing I am able to do some things that I previously could not do.  For example things that reminded me of things in the trunk. Things that triggered the memories were avoided.  I am able to talk about the process but I am not yet able to talk about the details. Some are to precious and some are too painful. For now they are between me and Jesus and I feel no pressure to move beyond that place of understanding and safety.

You probably have your own secret places. Just between you and me - the best thing I could have done was to let Jesus come into them. I pray you will have courage to begin your own journey to freedom.

I don't know if months from now or in a year or two - I will write another post to tell you that I discovered even more secret places. I hope I have gotten to the bottom of it all - but who knows I have been quite the stuffer for most of my life. Maybe if its Gods plan some of those things may have happy endings and I will be able to share those in some future post. In the mean time there is no shortage of things to write about.