U is for Undeveloped

A Devotional by Margot Cioccio

The first idea

Hebrews 5:¹¹ We have much to say about this, but it is hard to explain because you are slow to learn. ¹² In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! ¹³ Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. ¹⁴ But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.

I have a friend who was considering having me do a large mosaic. We are discovering that the costs of shipping a larger project or even doing a road trip to deliver it are more than her budget. So we are having to rethink the project. Could you paint it? She asks me. I suppose I could, but I realize that I have not really done any serious painting since I was in my early 20's. She does not know it, but I realize that painting is among the things that I put away with some dreams that died about that time in my life. You could say I laid them to rest... In reality I locked them away, I imprisoned and avoided them. I avoided doing things that triggered those memories until I could not even remember why I avoided those things. While at this point I think I have finally put those memories away in a right and healthy fashion. It seems that God is trying to give back to me some of those things that I avoided doing because they were triggers to that past. I realize that they are undeveloped things that become a whole new adventure to try to reacquaint myself.

2nd Idea

I was thinking at first that I needed to revisit those memories but I realize that I have already done that and they are at a place of peace. I guess I am hoping that serious painting is much like riding a bike, once you learn you never forget how. Bike riding is another thing that God has given back to me. I did not have to re-learn how to ride. I just have to go out and ride and realize - oh my gosh - how much I love riding.  The feel of the wind on my face and arms, and the sun on my back, it is exhilarating. My mind races and runs while I am riding at at tremendous speed. So many thoughts and ideas, so much inspiration. I am overwhelmed with a thankfulness for having been given back something that I had lost.

The 3rd and most recent idea.

So now to think about painting. I would need paint, and brushes, gesso, and some grace to experiment and reacquaint myself with painting.  It adds a whole lot of unknowns. I have felt old insecurities try to rise up today. I have had a bit of anxiety over my own ability to do this project. What if I can't capture the idea that I have pitched to her using a bunch combined, photoshopped images.

I will push past this and start into the project and be posting photos for folks to be able to follow along on facebook or by using the Bits and Pieces Mosaic Art Tab at the top. I gotta get to Z first so that gives me some time to sort out some of the unknowns.

Just like I stopped riding my bike and painting and those things have not developed as a result. We can have undeveloped areas of our heart, character, our emotional or spiritual or educational development. We may have areas that because of some hurt that we stopped developing. Our growth in that area has become stunted. I think part of the healing process is getting to a place where you can again go on to grow and develop.

I know that God is working in my life. He is patient with me on days like today as I process and attempt to look to him even though self doubt and insecurity tries to rise up and intimidate me. His yoke is easy and his burden is light. He is the one who stood in the middle of a storm tossed seas and commanded the waves to be still. Jesus in your name I speak to my own waves of fear and doubt and insecurity and I tell them to be still.


Prayer:
Dear Lord,
You know the places of doubt and fear in our lives. Those places where we choose to worry rather than trust you to lead us. Be my shepherd and lead me beside those still waters and restore my soul to a place of peace in your presence. Help me to know that you walk beside me and you help carry the burdens. Thank you for the obstacles that reminded me that I need you like the air I breath.  I am not self sufficient I depend and trust and rely on you. Help us see the areas in our own lives that are undeveloped and allow you into those places to heal, transform and set us free so we can develop and grow.