|We are all un finished works|
Yes, I will sing aloud
of Your mercy in the morning;
And refuge in the day of my trouble.”Psalm 59:16
This morning I seem to be struggling to find what I want to write about. The verse above it the verse of the day at Bible Gateway and seemed as good as any. I'm still kind of tired this morning and can't at this point seem to find a thread of inspiration to write about. There are some thoughts that may become things I write about but those are things that I am still processing. Processing - Perhaps that is a topic in it self. I was thinking this morning how it is very hard for me to get to memories from the past. Things I did not know how to deal with or did not want to feel the emotions of got locked away and with them the things that would trigger those memories. In my mind I needed to be the strong one, and encourage and support everyone else and my stuff could wait till later. There were things that needed to be done and I just kept moving forward and would sort it all out later. So I have done that for a very long time and in some ways later has come and I am now having to sort through that stuff and try to reconcile it in someway. Given that I have not created mental pathways in my brain to those memories it is very hard for me to find them now. There are some memory paths, and from those I can sometimes get to others. A friend told me recently that it was the mercy of God that I can't remember the past clearly. Perhaps it is - but I seem to be a the mercy of God because he brings up things and then I find that I must feel them and now deal with them in some right way. In some cases I must grieve the loss of people who were dear to me, or feel the pain of the hurt caused by the choices of others. In that I must forgive. In some I see the hurt and pain my choices have caused to others - in those I must try and understand the pain I caused and I must repent.
I was talking to my friend Mark Kenney yesterday, who is forever posting on face book little nuggets of wisdom that he some how profoundly spins out. Here's a couple just from yesterday.