Creating a Behavioral Covenant

A Devotional by Margot Cioccio

Matthew 22:34-40, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind....You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

 There are days when being in a family is difficult and takes purposeful effort to deal with things rather than just shove them under the rug. It is easy to think we can ignore our problems and they will go away. Generally that is not the case and they tend to fester and build up resentment till someone pops.

Today I had a really rough day emotionally. I realized that it was not just one thing but a whole bunch of little things that had added up to me feeling frustrated and discouraged.  I am thankful to have some people in my life that don't let me get away with stuffing and hiding and are quick to realize when I am not ok.  Those same people know that I am trying to be more transparent, honest and open and they prayed for me an held my feet to the fire.  They also held me capable of finding the solutions I needed with God's help.

So we had a family meeting and talked about Ephesians 4:15:32. As a family of believers we needed to agree to working thing out and to work to build stronger relationships with each other on the foundations of Christian principles and love.  Family takes work - and I realized that I had put off dealing with some attitudes and behaviors. That we had reached a place of needing to work things out.
So I give you Ephesians and Colossians 3:12-17 as the guides we used but there are many other verses that one might work from as well. It is a starting place.

We made a list of some of the things we value: Kindness, respect, honesty, love, forgiving, hard work, and doing things together. (I'm sure there are other things but these are what came to mind)

Then we made a list of behavior guidelines so that we can work through difficulties together.

• Listen to hear what the other is saying - don't be planning your defense.

• No name calling

• No foul or rude language

• Don't interrupt

• Don't Monopolize the conversation - give others a chance to respond and share their hearts.

• Be truthful in your appoligies

• Give others space to process.

• Allow for a timed cooling off or processing period with an agreement to come back and finish and resolve the issue.

• Respect others way of doing things.

• Watch sarcasm and being disrespectful.

• Review these things about once a month. As they may need some adjusting.
 
Ephesians 4:15-32(CEV)
15Love should always make us tell the truth. Then we will grow in every way and be more like Christ, the head 16of the body. Christ holds it together and makes all of its parts work perfectly, as it grows and becomes strong because of love.
The Old Life and the New Life
 17As a follower of the Lord, I order you to stop living like stupid, godless people. 18Their minds are in the dark, and they are stubborn and ignorant and have missed out on the life that comes from God. They no longer have any feelings about what is right, 19and they are so greedy that they do all kinds of indecent things. 20-21But that isn't what you were taught about Jesus Christ. He is the truth, and you heard about him and learned about him. 22You were told that your foolish desires will destroy you and that you must give up your old way of life with all its bad habits. 23Let the Spirit change your way of thinking 24and make you into a new person. You were created to be like God, and so you must please him and be truly holy.
Rules for the New Life
 25We are part of the same body. Stop lying and start telling each other the truth. 26Don't get so angry that you sin. Don't go to bed angry 27and don't give the devil a chance.
28If you are a thief, quit stealing. Be honest and work hard, so you will have something to give to people in need.
29Stop all your dirty talk. Say the right thing at the right time and help others by what you say.
30Don't make God's Spirit sad. The Spirit makes you sure that someday you will be free from your sins.
31Stop being bitter and angry and mad at others. Don't yell at one another or curse each other or ever be rude. 32Instead, be kind and merciful, and forgive others, just as God forgave you because of Christ.



Anyway we were able to work through some of the difficulties, frustrations and hurts that had built up. I guess my point of this is that sometimes to even be able to deal with stuff together we need to set some ground rules. For you it might be to remember the rules for fair fighting, or to create a list of things to agree all involved will all work to abide by so that we can deal with the issues at hand.

In my tendency towards being very private about the struggles I face in my life, I realize that there are others who would be helped if I am able to be open and honest.  Mostly its allowing the Holy Spirit to lead and finding the courage to deal with things not just wait for that straw that breaks the camels back and then try to pick up the pieces. I would encourage you to be pro-active.

Dear Lord,
Help us each to deal in a right way with the relationships in our lives and the dynamics of family and friendships that are at times hard to navigate through. Bring peace to the storms of our lives and help us to keep our eyes on you and to allow you to lead us to wise and right solutions for the things we are currently facing.

Tired

A Devotional by Margot Cioccio

Isaiah 40:29-31

²⁹ He gives strength to the weary
   and increases the power of the weak.
³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary,
   and young men stumble and fall;
³¹ but those who hope 

in the LORD
   will renew their strength.
They will soar 

on wings like eagles;
   they will run 

and not grow weary,
   they will walk 

and not be faint. 

I was talking to a friend this evening and sharing how I still had this devotional to write and how completely uninspired I was feeling.  He said "You know Margot, Its ok to be tired. Why don't you write about that because we all get tired and its ok"  So thats what I am writing about and I will hope that some how God pulls something up out of me by His Holy Spirit that encourages you.

Its Sunday night and I have been at church since 9 am this moring. I am there early to help with set up, sound, power point. I was the MC of sorts. We had a guest speaker and a guest worship leader who both blessed me by thier ministry to us and to the Lord. So I was the person who welcomed everyone and did the announcements, and the offering and introduced our guests. Its a good job for me God seems to put words in my mouth and its more of a being led by the Holy Spirit thing for me than a stressful speaking in front of people thing. After that there are people who have questions or prayer needs and there is clean up. Then we begin working cooking the meal that we serve at 3pm to our homeless and poor neighbors.  The fellowship in the kitchen is a lot of fun. I got to cook Perogies on the grill and cut and grill onions.  We make a point to only serve things we would serve to our own families. Can't say my family has ever had perogies but I think we will have to add them to the menu. Today we served about 130 people before we ran out of food. We had to turn away about 10 folks and were not able to feed our crew. It does not happen often but funding is a little low lately. Its hard economic times for everyone and giving has been down.  We do our very best to pepare enough to feed everyone and our crew of workers.  Its been quite a while since we have run out of food. You just never really know how many people will show up from week to week. It was 5:30pm by the time I got home and needed to go to the grocery store for some items to be able to pull of dinner at home. Thankfully someone else did the cooking.  All that to say I'm tired, but it is a good tired. I have spent the day doing things I love to do. Serving in the house of God is in many ways is the highlight of my week. 
When I can I try to get ahead on the devotionals for the week.  But not this weekend. Oh well it will be very fresh this week.

Mystic Lake

My tired son and Gracie dog

They call me the Dog Wisperer

This week my family spent the weekend (all but Sunday) on a camping trip. Which was wonderful a day and a half that was spent un plugged from technology. Trust me that is good for my family and for me from time to time. So I brought along a book and did some reading with the help of my dogs. I have not been quite so dirty in a very long time. Tonights dinner was the fish that the kids caught on the trip. We went to a place called Mystic Lake it was beautiful and very rustic with a lake that was down a very steep hill. We walked up and down it a bunch (hmmm... that may be part of why I'm tired too). We sat around the camp fire and played guitars and sang what we could remember of various songs. It was a delightful weekend. There is now a pile of camping gear that will need properly put away and a ton of extra laundry.  Our verse today says "Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall." I'm getting a little beyond "youth" but if the young folk get tired, I suspect there is room for me to be tired too. I think my friend is right - it is ok to be tired. What we need to not do is give up, or give the enemy open doors to attack us in those tired places.  In Galatians 6:9 it says "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." The things I have done this weekend have been good. I spent much needed un plugged time camping with my family,  I spent today in worship and serving at my church. I am now enjoying the quiet that has been afforded me by my family to get this devotional written.  It may not be a literary master piece, but I hope it will encourage those of you who are reading it. That it's ok to be tired. God promises in our verse today  

³¹ "but those who hope in the LORD
   will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles;
   they will run and not grow weary,  they will walk and not be faint."

My hope is in the Lord. I am thankful for His abiding presence with in a very full weekend. I am thankful that I will sleep well tonight. I am thankful that He promises to renew my strength.
I am thankful that He has given me an abundant (full) life. I am thankful that I've had this time to share these devotional thoughts with you. I hope you will remember something from this devotional when you are tired. Tiredness will pass. I took some time to sit out on the porch earlier and to lay on my back and look at the clouds and feel the gentle touch of the breeze.  I have found a quiet spot to write for a bit, which has turned out to be quite relaxing for me.  When I am tired I seek out quiet and I look to Jesus to be my center. In the quiet and the silence there is a refreshing that comes and all in all I am simply thankful for this tiredness because it is a reminder that I have been doing things I love to do, with people I enjoy being with, and I have had the pleasure of being the hands and feet of Jesus to others as I have been led along by the Holy Spirit.  Have I done it all to perfection - no.  I have lived and loved and experienced life first hand and that is a great gift for which I am extreemly thankful.

We saw a great sign on the drive back and my son Niah made sure we got a photo of it.  

Guess there are some days that I am thankful for coffee too.

Prayer:
Dear Lord,
Help us when we are tired to be thankful. To find hope in you that while we may not see all the fruit of our efforts in this moment that we can be confident that they will be evident in time. Lord, refresh us with your presence and in your word.  Thank you that your goal is for us to be more Christ like and no matter what our circumstancs you are able to work that in us if we will yield to you.