Creating a Behavioral Covenant

A Devotional by Margot Cioccio

Matthew 22:34-40, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind....You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

 There are days when being in a family is difficult and takes purposeful effort to deal with things rather than just shove them under the rug. It is easy to think we can ignore our problems and they will go away. Generally that is not the case and they tend to fester and build up resentment till someone pops.

Today I had a really rough day emotionally. I realized that it was not just one thing but a whole bunch of little things that had added up to me feeling frustrated and discouraged.  I am thankful to have some people in my life that don't let me get away with stuffing and hiding and are quick to realize when I am not ok.  Those same people know that I am trying to be more transparent, honest and open and they prayed for me an held my feet to the fire.  They also held me capable of finding the solutions I needed with God's help.

So we had a family meeting and talked about Ephesians 4:15:32. As a family of believers we needed to agree to working thing out and to work to build stronger relationships with each other on the foundations of Christian principles and love.  Family takes work - and I realized that I had put off dealing with some attitudes and behaviors. That we had reached a place of needing to work things out.
So I give you Ephesians and Colossians 3:12-17 as the guides we used but there are many other verses that one might work from as well. It is a starting place.

We made a list of some of the things we value: Kindness, respect, honesty, love, forgiving, hard work, and doing things together. (I'm sure there are other things but these are what came to mind)

Then we made a list of behavior guidelines so that we can work through difficulties together.

• Listen to hear what the other is saying - don't be planning your defense.

• No name calling

• No foul or rude language

• Don't interrupt

• Don't Monopolize the conversation - give others a chance to respond and share their hearts.

• Be truthful in your appoligies

• Give others space to process.

• Allow for a timed cooling off or processing period with an agreement to come back and finish and resolve the issue.

• Respect others way of doing things.

• Watch sarcasm and being disrespectful.

• Review these things about once a month. As they may need some adjusting.
 
Ephesians 4:15-32(CEV)
15Love should always make us tell the truth. Then we will grow in every way and be more like Christ, the head 16of the body. Christ holds it together and makes all of its parts work perfectly, as it grows and becomes strong because of love.
The Old Life and the New Life
 17As a follower of the Lord, I order you to stop living like stupid, godless people. 18Their minds are in the dark, and they are stubborn and ignorant and have missed out on the life that comes from God. They no longer have any feelings about what is right, 19and they are so greedy that they do all kinds of indecent things. 20-21But that isn't what you were taught about Jesus Christ. He is the truth, and you heard about him and learned about him. 22You were told that your foolish desires will destroy you and that you must give up your old way of life with all its bad habits. 23Let the Spirit change your way of thinking 24and make you into a new person. You were created to be like God, and so you must please him and be truly holy.
Rules for the New Life
 25We are part of the same body. Stop lying and start telling each other the truth. 26Don't get so angry that you sin. Don't go to bed angry 27and don't give the devil a chance.
28If you are a thief, quit stealing. Be honest and work hard, so you will have something to give to people in need.
29Stop all your dirty talk. Say the right thing at the right time and help others by what you say.
30Don't make God's Spirit sad. The Spirit makes you sure that someday you will be free from your sins.
31Stop being bitter and angry and mad at others. Don't yell at one another or curse each other or ever be rude. 32Instead, be kind and merciful, and forgive others, just as God forgave you because of Christ.



Anyway we were able to work through some of the difficulties, frustrations and hurts that had built up. I guess my point of this is that sometimes to even be able to deal with stuff together we need to set some ground rules. For you it might be to remember the rules for fair fighting, or to create a list of things to agree all involved will all work to abide by so that we can deal with the issues at hand.

In my tendency towards being very private about the struggles I face in my life, I realize that there are others who would be helped if I am able to be open and honest.  Mostly its allowing the Holy Spirit to lead and finding the courage to deal with things not just wait for that straw that breaks the camels back and then try to pick up the pieces. I would encourage you to be pro-active.

Dear Lord,
Help us each to deal in a right way with the relationships in our lives and the dynamics of family and friendships that are at times hard to navigate through. Bring peace to the storms of our lives and help us to keep our eyes on you and to allow you to lead us to wise and right solutions for the things we are currently facing.

Praying along with the Apostles

A Devotional by Margot Cioccio

Ephesians 3:16-19  

(I pray) that He would grant you, 

according to the riches of His glory, 

to be strengthened with power 

through His Spirit in the inner man, 

so that Christ may dwell in your hearts 

through faith; and that you, being 

rooted and grounded in love, 

may be able to comprehend 

with all the saints what is the breadth 

and length and height and depth, 

and to know the love of Christ 

which surpasses knowledge, 

that you may be filled up 

to all the fullness of God.  –

One of the ways I like to pray is using the prayers prayed in the Bible as a model. This one in Ephesians was prayed for a church and you could pray it for your church. You could also adapt it to pray for family as a whole or for individuals that come to mind. You could even pray it for yourself. I wanted to break it down and show you some of the things that jump out to me as I read it. You might see other things that I have missed but it should get you started.

(I pray) that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory

Have you considered the riches of His glory and how much is at our disposal through faith in Christ. I pray that you might be made aware of the gifts of His provision that you may have over looked, or not realized were available to you. I pray that the Holy Spirit would lead you as you read the Word to discover the riches of His glory.

To be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man

Strengthened in the original Greek means "to empower, to increase in vigor, and to be strong" It is not our own strength that we need it is the power of His Spirit working in our inner person. The Holy Spirit is the third person of the Trinity. The Holy Spirit is not an "it" or even a wind or a force. When Jesus was taken up to heaven He said He would send the Holy Spirit. It is the work of the Holy Spirit to lead us into all truth. The Holy Spirit helps us become strong in part by helping us understand the Word. The Holy Spirit also gives us gifts to help empower us for ministry and to accomplish Gods plans and purposes for our lives. The Holy Spirit does not just come and take over but waits for your invitation.
That Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith
It is though faith that Christ dwells in our hearts. It is not because we are worthy or deserving. The theif on the cross next to Jesus was never baptized, never made things right with the folks he had wronged. He never walked down to the front of a church to publicly confess His faith. He never did the things that most of us equate with "Being Saved". He simply believed in that moment that Jesus was who He said He was. He recognized Him as King of kings and asked to be remembered by Jesus when He came into His kingdom.  I pray that you might allow Christ to dwell in your heart through faith.  

 To be rooted and grounded in love 

I like to think of a tree that has roots that go deep into the ground to find water. The Lord wants us to be rooted and grounded in His love. When the storms beat against that tree with deep roots it may bend and sway but it is grounded and will not be up rooted or moved from its place. Our lives are full of storms and trials we are much more likely to get through those storms when we are secure in how much we are loved by the Lord.  I pray that you would be rooted and grounded in love.

To be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth 

and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ 

Can you even begin to grasp the greatness of the love of Christ. This is a prayer that would cause us to grow deeper in love with Jesus. I pray that the Lord would help us really understand His love for us. Help us to comprehend the power of His love to transform us to become more and more like Christ.

 

To be filled up to all the fullness of God

I pray that you would be filled up with all the fullness of God. That you would have everything you need to do everything He has called you to do. The more we realize how much He loves us the more we are able to love and trust the Lord. 

 Well I hope that you will allow the Holy Spirit to lead you as you pray through these verses. 

Prayer

Dear Lord, 

Open up your Word to us and lead us as we pray along with the Apostles and use the prayers of the Bible as a model for our own prayers. 

The Name of The LORD

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The Name of The LORD

1 Samuel 17:45 (NIV1984) 
David said to the Philistine, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin,

but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty, 

the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. 

 I too often forget that there is a spiritual war going on - forgetting does not make it go away. It just leaves me and people I care about open to attack from the enemy.   Usually when I think of spiritual weapons I think of the ones listed in Ephesian 6. You know the helmet of salvation, the breast plate of righteousness, the shield of faith, the belt of truth, the gospel peace shoe and the sword of the Spirit. 
So, ok, I put those things on by faith but I'm not sure we really get it. This is not just some little prayer ritual ditty that we confess over ourselves. If I put on the helmet of salvation it speaks more to having comprehended that I was once hopelessly lost in sin, with no way on my own to get to God. There is nothing I can do to deserve the magnificent pardon that I have received through Jesus and his death and resurrection.  That helmet becomes securely on my head when I stop trying by my own efforts to sanctify or clean myself up. When I finally accept what Jesus has done on my behalf, I turn the corner into a life of gratitude.  The breast plate guards my heart not by my righteousness but by His. Coming to terms with this moves me to accept the condition of my heart and to allow the Lord into those hidden and secret places, to share it with Jesus honestly and openly. Its not like I can really hide any of it from Him any more than Adam and Eve could hide their nakedness with a fig leaf.

In our verse today however the weapon that David wields is The Name of the LORD. So did He stand there shouting Jehovah Jireh My Provider His Grace Is Sufficient, or was it I AM has it out for you Giant. I don't think that is what happened that day. It was in that moment that David declared to the giant and the listening armies "You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty."  It is not the rocks or the sling in his hand or by speaking the right words.  It is the confidence in knowing the LORD Almighty.

David had spent years as a shepherd alone with the sheep. Alone with the Lord, singing songs, talking out loud to the LORD, calling on the Lord to help him when the lions or bears made of with one of the flock. He had a deep and abiding relationship with the Lord that had come from having spent time with the Lord on a daily basis. Too often people come to their moment of crisis and begin sending up Hail Mary prayers for Gods deliverance. God is looking for us to walk with Him daily, to be learning the sound of His voice. To make time to come away and fellowship with Him amidst the never ending duties of daily life. Is He my priority, is He first in my heart?  It never hurts to go through your Bible and discover all the names by which the LORD is called there are deep riches to be found. It is not so much knowing the names He is called but knowing Him intimately and deeply. Those names are merely a point of introduction to that part of who He is.
When I have seen him deliver me in a financial pinch I know Him as my provider. When I have been consumed with guilt and shame I have come to know Him as the Lord who sanctifies and forgives. When I am confused and I look to Him I begin to know Him as my peace. In whatever we are facing there is a comfort in knowing that He is more than enough.  

You may be facing some trial today. The Lord wants to help you - He waits for you to get to the end of your self sufficiency and realize your need for Him. Not just in this moment of crisis but in every step of the journey forward. He waits to share the journey with you. 

Prayer:
Dear Lord, I want to know you more. Help me to make time to spend with you. Help me to not put on your armor with some whimsical ritual of a prayer. Help me instead to think deeply on the purpose and the provision of those pieces of armor. That they would so become a part of me as you fill me with understanding and insight into what you have done, and who you are. Help me to not only know your name but know you.