What Next?

A Devotional by Margot Cioccio

Luke 10:27  (NIV)

 ²⁷ He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.

I'm in the space between finishing one project and starting up the next. Its a kind of waiting, resting, and regrouping time. I don't know what the next project will even be at this point and I have lots of other smaller things that I'm always working on. In this time between things I find myself looking to see what things I can tidy up or organize.  I sit here looking at my work space at home and wonder if I should move some of it to my new Studio 2 Work space. That project has been happening right along side the river project but I have not really shared any of those photos. I have the main structure pretty well done at this point but I have a lot to do in the way of making it truly functional. They are not even the best of photos but they will give you a bit of a look.

My husband was very helpful one weekend and went shopping with me for the bookshelves and the rug and some of the decorations. He loves to paint and so he did the messy job of painting the small desk and some of the old wood chairs that I found black.  At this point I have two new guitar students who I am teaching in this new space. I can invision doing some small mosaic classes for 4-6 people. The furniture that I selected is all very light weight and can easily be repositioned for my various needs. I think it will also make a nice place to meet with coaching clients.  In some ways I guess I need to look at the development of this space much like the Beloved Project, or the River Project. It is a journey from first seeing the idea in my head to seeing it become a finished project. I suppose in all of these things I give myself permission to experiment. On the Beloved project I re-did the mouth and eyes several times before I liked them and moved on to other parts of the project.  On the River Project I thought there would be transparant blue overlays but in the end I cut out blue water drops.  I look at my life in a similar way, I give myself permission to experiment and try new things. Rather than look at the things that don't work as "oh woe is me" failures - I look at what is not working and put on my thinking cap, spend some time praying and seeking the Lord. Then I try to do a few things differently to see how that works.

I have always done a lot of my work from home but I am toying with the idea of moving work to the Studio 2 space and being truly home when I am home. I would still have enough flexibility to work at home if I wanted to but it might bring a something new to our family life. My family has me around all the time now but they often don't get my undivided attention because I'm always multi tasking on some project. Its kind of like when you move to a new house the living space with either separate people or it will bring people together.  I know that the changes that I make will have an effect on the people around me and if I want certain things to be different, I must make some intentional changes.

I took a spiritual gifts test yesterday but I tried to take it from a perspective of  what I am called or passionate about doing rather than simply what I have done a lot of through the years. I don't suppose it is a problem for most folks taking these test but for me for 30 years my attitude has been one of I'm available Lord. I may not be the best at something but I trust you will help me to get the job done. If you see a need meet it, has been how I have operated. As a result my scores on spiritual gifts test are always very high with lots of things that tie for the top 4 slots. In talking with my pastor, we are working through the idea of "great you've done a lot but what of that makes you feel excited, alive, passionate. What of it do you love doing vs. what are you good at because it has needed to be done.
So my test was not a great surprise to me. Creative Communication/ Craftsmanship, Prayer/ Intercession, Faith /Encouragement/ Pastoring/ Shepherding, Wisdom are all part of my gift mix. So now the question to be discussed over coffee with my pastor is "How in the next 8-12 months do I move from the things I am currently doing to doing more that truly fits my spiritual gifts mix.  It is an interesting thing for me to ponder. It is interesting to be in a place and working with a pastor who is not threatened by my gift mix and actually sees the value of helping and equipping me to find my right spot that really fits me with in the body of Christ.  I suppose that is another of my "Whats Next" projects.  I am pretty sure that Gods provision of the Studio 2 space and finding my fit will some how work hand in hand. You may not realize it but women with strong leadership gifts are all too often seen as a threat in the largely male dominated church leadership world. Its not true everywhere but it has been a journey for me.  I've always kind of been a trail blazer and perhaps this journey to really finding my place as a woman called by God to contribute to His kingdom in some way will be helpful to other women and maybe to men as well as they begin to see the calling and giftedness of their wives, mothers, friends. How do we help each other become all that God desires, how do we give others a hand up, how do we equip and encourage people regardless of gender to begin to see God's greater design and begin to move by faith to become a people who love the Lord with all their heart, soul, mind and strength.   I guess I am mostly just being transparant about my journey today and I hope that it helps and encourages you in your own journey as you follow Jesus step by step, day by day. 

Prayer: 
Dear Lord,
I pray you will help those who are reading today to have greater revelation of who you have called, gifted and appointed them to be. Help your people to rise up from their complacency and slumber and even fear and begin to walk by faith into your greater kingdom purposes. I thank you that you allow us to experiment and practice using our gifts and to discover your plan. Thank you for laying things out for us step by step and for not overwhelming us with the BIG picture. I thank you for vision that helps us to begin to dream and think a bit bigger. I thank you for courage to do what is right even when we still feel afraid. Thank you for being with us every step of the way. May your kingdom come and your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

A Place Near Your Altar

A Devotional by Margot Cioccio

Source: artfire.com via Margot on Pinterest

Psalm 65 NIV1984

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3 When we were overwhelmed by sins,

you forgave our transgressions.

4 Blessed are those you choose

and bring near to live in your courts!

We are filled with the good things of your house,

of your holy temple.

It has been roughly thirty years ago that I first met Jesus. There was always and empty place in me that I never seemed to be able to fill until I met Jesus. I came from a family of good and caring people who loved me but did not know Jesus. My mother was more into new age studies and my father a very educated scientist. They were divorced when I was five and I lived with my mother and visited my dad during summers and holidays. Given their backgrounds I had it amazes me that I found Jesus. I remember giving some of the Christians who tried to talk to me about the Lord a lot of grief in college. 

During my third year of college, I was feeling pretty lost and confused and discovered a group of American Sikhs and attended their yoga classes and eventually moved in to their community house. I dressed in white and wore a turban. I took ice cold shower, and got up early for morning yoga and then headed off to classes or worked in the deli of their health food store. There was a woman named Singh Kar who wrote and sang the most beautiful songs. They were kind and gentle people and it did bring a measure of stability to my life. In time however I realized that it had not really filled that empty place and I realized if I stayed much longer a marriage would have been arranged for me. At about the same time I got word that my grandmother was dying of cancer and my aunt desperately needed help. Not being a very secure person at the time I used that as an excuse to leave and had my brother pick up my stuff so I would not have to directly confront the leaders there about my real reasons for leaving. Pretty cowardly in hindsight. At my aunts I often took the night shift caring for my grandmother. She died with in a month or so of me being there. The church my aunt was attending had a summer missions retreat and I was invited to attend it. At the time I was pretty sure I could tune out the preachers and a weekend in the woods would help me figure out what was next.  I guess I did not planing on being so moved by the music group "The Hitches" a family that sang together.  I don't know what the song was but it was about being part of God's family and I felt so alone and so badly wanted to belong to a family. It was enough to cause me to spend more time finding out about this "Jesus and what being part of His family might look like"  It was right around my 21st birthday that I asked Jesus to come into my life and was baptized. In looking back it has been the best decision I ever made. One that I have not regretted in the 30 years of walking with Him.  Psalm 65 :3-5 reminds me that I knew what a mess I was when I came to Jesus. I am so thankful for His forgiveness. I believe he did choose to bring me to live near to his courts. My favorite place for 30 years has been to be in and around his presence, his church and his people.

I like to joke that I must have gypsy blood in me because I have moved every 2-3 years of my entire life. So I have not had the stability of a house or a neighborhood, or people. Those things for me have come and gone. Where my stability has been found, has been in Jesus. No matter where I have gone His people have been there and I have found a place around his courts to call my home. I'm all for breaking that 2-3 year moving trend at this point in my life. I think I have actually found a place that sees and values the gifts that God has given me and has made room for me to fit in and belong. 

Psalm 84: 3

Even the sparrow has found a home,

and the swallow a nest for herself,

where she may have her young—

a place near your altar,

O Lord Almighty, my King and my God.

4 Blessed are those who dwell in your house;

they are ever praising you. 

For thirty years my life has centered around the Lord and his kingdom. I find it hard to make up resumes because while I have always worked, it has only been to pay the bills my focus has been on working for the kingdom. If you ask for a resume of my ministry experience, that is the one that excites me not that I have been paid for most of it. God has allowed me to do a lot of really cool things through the years. 

Why am I thinking about this today. I think it started with the spiritual gifts test that our pastor gave all of us leaders to take. I've taken it before and had talked to him about how for much of the 30 years I have worked in worship or children's and youth ministry. While we have a need for someone to work in that area - my pastor is pretty solid on that person not being me. My top gifts are Prayer/Intercession, Encouragement and Shepherding/ pastoring they shift in their order a bit each time I have taken it creativity, hospitality, wisdom and tongues are always pretty high on my list. My pastor wisely said to me the other day that I had been doing children's ministry because that was the only place most church's are willing to use women who have a pastoring or shepherding spiritual gift.
I think of the herding dogs that my sister has. They will herd just about anything. They are just wired that way. So I think he has a strong case, my gifts have come out in interesting ways because I have had to find outlets for them in a church culture that could only see men as leaders. 

We are endeavoring to get all of us actually functioning in our areas of gifting. For me I have a lot of strong ministry skills and I may be good at a lot of things but I am having to sort through what I did because it needed done or was simply the only outlet in which my gifts could function as apposed to what I have actually been gifted and called to do.  So it got me thinking about my 30 year journey. I guess I have not been too concerned about what I have done for the Lord as long as I could be in around his courts and his altar.  I have been more about being available and believing that God would help me in what ever task I was given to do.  I think however that I am entering a season of fine tuning and beginning to see God bringing me out from a behind the scenes support roles to one of taking up the mantle of who he has created and called me to be for His glory. 

If you have not taken a spiritual gifts test and are clueless about your gifts and callings. E-mail me and I will be happy to send you the file. (princessmargot@hotmail.com)


Prayer:
Dear Lord,
Help us each to discover your unique mix of gifts and talents and to find where we fit in your church and in accomplishing your kingdom purposes. I thank you for your house and I do ever praise you for the place near your altar that you have allowed me to dwell. I know there is plenty of room there and pray for those who have not yet found a place of peace and shelter in your house that they would hear you calling and they would respond and come and find rest for their weary souls.